• A.J.

Thirty-Two Things I've Learned

So I turned thirty-two a couple of weeks ago, and I thought, "Well, I've lived over a third of my life. What have I figured out so far?" And, honestly, I'm not entirely sure I've figured out much. Maybe by the time I hit sixty-four I'll have it all figured out. Until then, this is what I've discovered so far.

  1. I'm not very old.

  2. I’m definitely not young anymore.

  3. Even if I think I’m old or young, there’s always someone who will tell me I’m neither.

  4. Sleep is wonderful.

  5. Food is wonderful too, and frequently leads to sleep.

  6. Having children reshaped my whole outlook of the world in the best way possible.

  7. Having children is exhausting. See #4.

  8. I have washed far more dishes in my life than I’ve won awards.

  9. I haven’t won that many awards.

  10. Most of my best writing has been rejected dozens upon dozens of times over.

  11. I get terse and antsy when I haven’t written anything for a couple of days.

  12. Sometimes I have to make myself write.

  13. I drink too much coffee. Unapologetically.

  14. I’m lazy, sometimes horribly so. But coffee helps.

  15. I’ve owned four cars and I still don’t totally know how to change the stupid oil.

  16. I spend too much time on Facebook.

  17. My happiest grade in school was 8th grade.

  18. I get stage fright before every show, whether I wrote the play or I’m performing in it.

  19. I’m almost certain I have an undiagnosed stomach ulcer.

  20. At most, I know four good jokes off the top of my head.

  21. I never set my alarm clock to obvious numbers, such as 7:15 or 6:30. It’s always 6:14 or 7:22. This drives my wife crazy.

  22. The black dress shoes I wear when I teach are the same shoes I bought five years ago from a thrift store to work at Domino’s Pizza, and the same shoes I perform in every summer with TOTL. Best six dollars I ever spent.

  23. Life gets more complicated every year. If I let it.

  24. Christmas is the of holidays, and it needs to be stopped.

  25. I can’t change my family, and my family can’t change me, but we can love each other regardless.

  26. More than anything else, I hope my sons grow up to be kind.

  27. I should really fold my laundry more often, and sooner, than I do.

  28. I once weighed 195 pounds and was well into the obese BMI range for a 5’7 male. I swore that would never happen again, and it hasn’t.

  29. I really do think I’m 5’8 sometimes.

  30. I love my home state of WV more than anywhere else. I would love it even more if the state government could get itself together.

  31. October is my favorite month and I think it always has been. Although, I’m not a huge fan of Halloween or being scared.

  32. Marrying my wife was the best thing I ever did.


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